Who would dare remake an Alfred Hitchcock movie? You’d be surprised. Many people have tried it. Unsurprisingly, most of them have failed to replicate the Master of Suspense’s magic. From the moment he made The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog, his first commercial and critical success, Hitchcock’s works were always flawless. That particular film featured many of the thematic elements he would be known for, such as an innocent man on the run and his trademark cameo. He would use the same template in different shades, resulting in numerous, wildly entertaining cinematic stories.
Even though it’s something worth frowning about, it’s easy to see why someone would remake a Hitchcock movie. So much time has passed, and there is a higher likelihood that, except for hardcore cinephiles, most people born in recent decades haven’t seen the legendary director’s gems. The filmmaker’s movies are also too good, so other directors might mistakenly believe they won’t have too much work on their hands. Wrong!
Here are some of the worst remakes of Alfred Hitchcock movies.
‘Rebecca’ (2020)
Why wait? In Rebecca, a young, single woman (Lily James) quickly marries the wealthy widower Maxim de Winter (Armie Hammer) after a few weeks of meeting him. She moves into his grand English estate, Manderley, only to be bullied by the sinister housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers (Kristin Scott Thomas), who believes Maxim’s late wife, Rebecca, will always be the lady of the house. What will the new bride do?
More Like a Soap Opera
Rebecca was discarded as soon as it arrived. Most commentators agreed that it looked good (the costumes and the visuals), but the punch just wasn’t there. On the other hand, Hitchcock’s version won numerous awards, including Best Picture at the Oscars (surprisingly, the only one of his movies to do so). Because it was shot in black-and-white, it felt more like a Gothic tale with an endless sense of dread (an atmosphere that works well for the story), compared to the Netflix film, which feels like a romance drama or soap opera. And Armie Hammer is nowhere near as good an actor as Laurence Olivier.
‘Psycho’ (1998)
Gus Van Sant’s Psycho is a shot-for-shot remake of the Alfred Hitchcock movie. In it, Marion Crane (Anne Heche) impulsively takes $400,000 from her company’s safe and flees. While on the lam, she decides to spend the night at the remote Bates Motel, run by the socially awkward Norman Bates (Vince Vaughn), who has a domineering mother. Unknown to her, he is a murderer.
A Clone Still Isn’t the Real Thing
If you are going to touch a classic like The Godfather or Psycho, make a prequel or something, like Bates Motel. Well, Gus Van Sant figured it was better to do a copy-and-paste. Was it out of the fear that audiences would be hostile to any form of slight butchery of Hitchcock’s work? No one knows, but his approach failed miserably, resulting in a Razzie for Worst Remake and a Stinkers Bad Movie Award for Worst Picture. Van Sant would later pull the “I was just joking” card, claiming he only made the film to prove that no one can really copy a film the same way as the original. Today, Hitchcock’s version is still regarded as one of the greatest movies ever made.
‘Dial M for Murder’ (1981)
Divorce is always the solution to an affair, yet in Dial M for Murder, retired tennis player Tony Wendice (Anthony Quayle) plots to murder his wealthy wife Margot (Angie Dickinson), for dropping her panties for famous author, Mark Halliday (Christopher Plummer). To avoid any suspicion, he blackmails an old friend into committing the crime, but things go terribly wrong.
Dial M for Messy Remake
Because it was made as a TV movie, Boris Sagal’s remake didn’t have the big budget that Hitchcock’s film had, and the financial constraints are quite evident. No expensive costumes, fewer displays of opulence, and so on. The original never won any major awards, but it’s highly adored by critics for its dancing camera, making audiences aware of even the tiniest details. That’s something only Hitchcock could execute, so Sagal doesn’t even try, and by not making any effort to do so, he dooms himself.
‘Once You Meet a Stranger’ (1996)
Sheila Gaines (Jacqueline Bisset), a washed-up actress, meets wealthy socialite Margo Anthony (Theresa Russell) on a train. While chatting, Margo suggests they extinguish each other’s “headaches.” Margo will kill Sheila’s troublesome ex-husband, and Sheila will kill Margo’s overbearing mother. Sheila thinks it’s all a joke, but Margo actually goes ahead and kills Sheila’s ex, then demands Sheila fulfill her side. What happens now in Once You Meet a Stranger?
An Unrecognizable Remake
People resorting to extreme ways to solve problems? You could always trust Hitchcock to give you that. Once You Meet a Stranger is a made-for-TV remake of Strangers on a Train, but with gender-swapped characters. In the original, the main characters are men. Here, director Tommy Lee Wallace (best known for Halloween) recaptures the tension beautifully, but his version is leaner, leaving out much of the flesh that made Hitchcock’s movie great. The performances are hardly inspiring either. He would have been better off telling another story with a similar tone.
‘The Lodger’ (2009)
The Lodger follows Detective Chandler Manning (Alfred Molina) as he looks into a series of murders mirroring those of the infamous serial killer, Jack the Ripper. His suspicions grow when the landlady, Ellen Bunting (Hope Davis), and her husband take in a mysterious lodger as their new tenant.
Watchable, But Way Inferior to the Classic
Critics panned the remake, labeling it confusing. From the opening minute, it becomes clear that director David Ondaatje intends to make something close to a classic noir. There are red herrings and a slice of melodrama. He even acquired a pretty good lead actor in Alfred Molina. But as hard as he might have tried, he was never going to match Hitchcock’s film, highly praised for its ominous camera angles, themes, and claustrophobic lighting. The original was simply too revolutionary to match.
‘Rear Window’ (1998)
ABC’s Rear Window remake, directed by Jeff Bleckner, stars Superman actor Christopher Reeve as Jason Kemp, a rich architect left quadriplegic after a car crash. To fight boredom, he spends his days monitoring neighbors through his window. Soon, he begins to suspect that Julian Thorpe (Ritchie Coster) has killed his wife. He thus continues spying and investigating.
Peeping Jason
Rear Window was remade with Christopher Reeve in mind, as he couldn’t walk following a 1995 Memorial Day fall from horseback riding that left him paralyzed. And he sure pays back the network and the director with a wonderful performance. This is the kind of film you badly want to be successful. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. Many commentators noted that Reeve’s performance was the only thing worth tuning in for. The angles aren’t as cool as they are in the original. Besides that, the main character’s voyeuristic leanings feel more justified in the original than in the remake.
‘The Lady Vanishes’ (1979)
The Lady Vanishes initially promises a friendship between American heiress Amanda Kelly (Cybill Shepherd) and elderly English governess Miss Froy (Angela Lansbury). The two chat while traveling by train across Europe, but when Amanda briefly loses consciousness, she wakes up to find that Miss Froy has disappeared. The rest of the passengers claim to have never seen her. What’s with that? Amanda investigates!
The Brilliance Vanishes
You know you have a bad movie when the two leads are totally upstaged by supporting actors. Arthur Lowe and Ian Carmichael are the best thing to happen to The Lady Vanishes. The overreliance on comedy also makes the film goofy, eliminating all the suspense in Hitchcock’s version. The outcome is even funnier when you consider how confident financier Tony Williams was when the remake was being made. “Those old actors were marvellous, but if you consult the man in the street, he’s more interested in seeing a current artist than someone who’s been dead for years,” he told The Guardian. Producer George Axelord had also labeled Hitchcock’s version “creaky.” Ha ha ha!
‘The 39 Steps’ (2008)
Mining engineer Richard Hannay (Rupert Penry-Jones) has just returned to London from South Africa in The 39 Steps. Before he can settle, he has a chance encounter with a spy who warns him of a major conspiracy. When the spy ends up dead, Hannay is accused of the murder and forced to go on the run as he tries to clear his name.
39 Missteps
Hitchcock’s The 39 Steps is celebrated as one of the greatest spy movies ever made, and for creating the prototype for “The Hitchcock Blonde,” a tough and smart lady who aids the protagonist. This characterization is widely credited with inspiring the “Bond Girl.” Regrettably, there is nothing worth praising in the remake. The choice to use The Great War as a backdrop is misguided, as many historical inaccuracies pop up. The actors rarely impress either.
‘Lifepod’ (1993)
Lifepod changes the setting of Alfred Hitchcock’s Lifeboat from the ocean to outer space. After a luxury spacecraft is destroyed in an apparent terrorist attack, the survivors flee in a tiny lifepod. As time passes, the supplies dwindle and tensions surge. The men then start suspecting each other of being responsible for the explosion that has put them in this predicament.
A Boat Was Better
One can appreciate a remake that tries to be different, but in a decade that had incredible outer space movies like Event Horizon and Armageddon, Lifepod looks very cartoonish. Beyond that, the stakes never feel as high as those in the Hitchcock movie, where the choices of the characters have implications in a larger war (WWII) that is taking place. The original is also technically unique, with great views (it was nominated for Best Cinematography at the Oscars), and proceedings that mainly play out without background music.
‘Notorious’ (1992)
Colin Bucksey’s Notorious follows the exact path carved by Alfred Hitchcock’s movie. Alicia Huberman (Jenny Robertson), the daughter of a convicted Nazi spy, is recruited by a U.S. intelligence agent and tasked with infiltrating a group of disgraced Third Reich officials hiding in Brazil while plotting a comeback. Will she make any strides?
A Classic That Should Have Really Been Left Alone
The TV remake lacks visual artistry, and none of the actors match the charm brought by Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant. Why did Bucksey even try? Hitchcock’s film is too creative to match. One of its most iconic moments is the two-and-a-half-minute kiss, where the Master of Suspense interrupted every three seconds to maneuver the three-second-kiss rule that had been set up in the Production Code. Only someone like him could have thought of doing.
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