Ethan Slater’s ex-wife, Lilly Jay, writes about navigating divorce ‘in the shadow’ of his relationship with Ariana Grande. How we got here.

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater have been dancing through life amid the mega success of Wicked, with Part 2 on the way.

The co-stars have been singing each other’s praises and sharing some near-PDA moments during the film’s press tour. They’ve otherwise kept their romance mostly low-key after the end of their respective marriages.

Now, causing a little ripple in their bliss is Slater’s ex-wife Lilly Jay’s essay for the Cut about navigating her divorce “in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.”

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It was reported in July 2023 that Grande was dating Slater, who had recently separated from Jay less than a year after they welcomed their first child together.

“In the countless hours I spend rocking my son to sleep, pushing his stroller, marveling at his sweaty little hands grasping a crayon, I work diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage,” Jay wrote. “This, I tell myself, is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide. Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child.”

In the piece — titled “How Does My Divorce Make You Feel?” — the clinical psychologist wrote that no couple “gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash. But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.”

She also referenced Wicked.

“Days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker,” she wrote.

Jay also wrote about the “growing distance” between her and Slater as he filmed Wicked with Grande in the United Kingdom.

“As a perinatal psychologist, I knew all the statistics — how vulnerable a marriage is in the postpartum period, how vital community connection is in preventing depression and anxiety, how new parenthood impacts a whole family — but I confidently moved to another country with my 2-month-old baby and my husband to support his career,” she wrote. “Consumed by the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, I didn’t understand the growing distance between us.”

Jay said the point of her speaking out is so her high-profile split can help others, if nothing else.

“Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours,” she wrote. “Knowing what you now know, I can say with both personal and professional authority, you are so much stronger than you assume. Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward.”

She also wrote that she and Slater both “fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided.”

Jay’s new comments about the divorce bring back into focus the timeline of Grande and Slater’s romance.

December 2022: Wicked began production. Grande was cast as Glinda while Slater was brought on to play Boq, who has a big crush on Glinda. The actors were photographed together in a picture included on co-star Michelle Yeoh’s Instagram feed.

July 17, 2023: Grande separated from Dalton Gomez after two years of marriage, according to reports. An insider said they’d “been separated since January.”

July 20, 2023: Reports confirm that Grande started dating Slater. Things are “fairly new,” an insider said. There’s unsubstantiated gossip suggesting they got together before they split from their partners.

July 26, 2023: Slater filed for divorce from Jay, whom he married in 2018, just one month shy of their son’s first birthday.

July 27, 2023: Jay told Page Six that Grande is “not a girl’s girl” and she and her son are “collateral damage” amid the split.

Sept. 18, 2023: Grande filed for divorce from Gomez. Their separation is listed as Feb. 20, 2023.

Sept. 25, 2023: Grande and Slater were seen together for the first time as a couple at Disney World.

Nov. 12, 2023: The pair went to see Gutenberg! The Musical! and a photo of them together backstage was posted to Instagram.

Nov. 16, 2023: Grande supported Slater at the opening night of Broadway’s Spamalot, which he starred in. They don’t pose together.

Jan. 12, 2024: Grande released “Yes, and?” a stinging response to criticism about her relationship with Slater.

March 19, 2024: Grande finalized her divorce from Gomez.

April 7, 2024: Grande attended Slater’s final Spamalot show.

April 10, 2024: They were together in Las Vegas promoting Wicked at CinemaCon.

June 8, 2024: The couple had a date night at the Stanley Cup Final.

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater watching the Stanley Cup Final in June. (Elsa/Getty Images)

Sept. 13, 2024: Slater finalized his divorce from Jay.

Sept. 30, 2024: With promotion underway for Wicked, Grande told Vanity Fair that she found it “disappointing” that so many people believe “the worst version” about the origin of her relationship.

She defended Slater from gossip that he abandoned Jay and their son, saying, “There couldn’t be a less accurate depiction of a human being than the one that the tabloids spread about him. … No one on this earth tries harder or spreads themselves thinner to be there for the people that he loves and cares about. There is no one on this earth with a better heart, and that is something that no bullshit tabloid can rewrite in real life.”

Oct. 30, 2024: Slater opened up to GQ about the speculation surrounding his relationship with Grande.

“I think there was something that was really difficult about things in your private life being commented on and looked at by the public,” he said. “There were a lot of big changes in private lives that were really happening, so it’s really hard to see people who don’t know anything about what’s happening commenting on it and speculating, and then getting things wrong about the people you love.”

Nov. 3, 2024: Grande posted her first photo of Slater to Instagram.

Nov. 9, 2024: The couple had sweet moments at the L.A. premiere of Wicked. She told Entertainment Tonight, “He’s such an amazing person. I’m so happy people are getting to know him. My heart is very happy.”

Ethan Slater and Ariana Grande at the L.A. premiere of Wicked on Nov. 9. (Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images)

Nov. 14, 2024: They had another cute moment on the red carpet at the New York premiere of Wicked.

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater attend the New York premiere of Wicked at the Museum of Modern Art on Nov. 14. (Theo Wargo/Getty Images)

Nov. 22, 2024: Slater shared set photos, including several with Grande.

Dec. 19, 2024: Jay wrote an essay for the Cut about her divorce from her high school sweetheart and his “new relationship with a celebrity.” She said she never expected to divorce, but they grew distant when they moved to England for Slater to shoot Wicked alongside Grande. Jay said that while she’s adjusting to her new normal, there are “days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days.”

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