Buxom beauties and chiseled studs frolic in sunny Australia while engaging in amorous chicanery. Anyone But You updates Shakespeare’s classic romance, Much Ado About Nothing, to a brainless romp with fleeting nudity and F-bombs galore. Thankfully, there’s ample chemistry between the gorgeous leads to facilitate the requisite happy ending. All the silliness in between the utterly predictable outcome can be digested despite the inane subterfuge. The film plunges headfirst into the culture wars with a queer marriage, multi-racial families, and casual sex, which may ruffle puritanical and traditionalist feathers, but a sex comedy with Sydney Sweeney is not likely their pick for the Christmas holiday anyway.
In Boston, Bea (Sydney Sweeney), an unsure law student, tries to use the bathroom at a coffee shop to no avail. The mean barista tells her to buy something and get in line. Bea’s bladder can’t survive a queue. Ben (Glen Powell) notices her pee dance fracas and offers a lavatory lifeline. He pretends to be her husband, requests the key, and gets Bea her much-needed relief. 12 ounces lighter, Bea is genuinely taken by his gentlemanly actions. A walk after coffee turns into an all-day affair with Ben making her a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner.
Bea wakes up on the couch cuddling with Ben but inexplicably sneaks out of his apartment. A heartbroken Ben pretends to be asleep as she slinks away. Bea realizes she’s made a huge mistake and returns just in time to hear Ben tell his best friend Pete (GaTa) about a random hookup that meant nothing. This is a blatant lie, but now we have the catalyst for conflict between the pair.
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate
Six months later, they accidentally run into each other at a celebration where Claudia (Alexandra Shipp) has gotten engaged to Halle (Hadley Robinson), Bea’s younger sister. Coincidentally, Ben grew up with Claudia, who is Pete’s half-sister. Ben and Bea, of course, get into a juvenile argument. Later, they are thrust back together when Claudia’s parents, Roger (Bryan Brown) and Carol (Michelle Hurd), invite everyone to Australia for the wedding. The situation is further complicated when Bea’s parents, Leo (Dermot Mulroney) and Innie (Rachel Griffiths), decide to bring her ex-boyfriend, Jonathan (Darren Barnet) along as well. It’s a nuptials’ calamity until Claudia and Halle concoct a ruse to make Ben and Bea fall in love.
Anyone But You doesn’t have a ruthless Don John trying to sabotage the wedding. The film takes the general premise and character names from Much Ado About Nothing, but not the angst and tension that made the play so successful. There’s no villain to thwart. Everyone is likable with good intentions. Covering syrup with more syrup doesn’t add to the flavor. It makes an already saccharine plot diabetic. There isn’t a dangerous second for Bea and Ben’s longing for each other. You’re basically sitting around for the characters to act on what everyone already knows.
Director and co-writer Will Gluck (Easy A, Friends with Benefits) has solid rom-com credentials and knows how to make hearts flutter. The opening scene at the coffee shop does a good job of establishing a connection. Bea and Ben have a sweet moment that blossoms into something beautiful. The aw-shucks wholesomeness gets chucked out the window at the first sight of Ben’s bare-breasted ex-girlfriend on an Australian beach. Gluck goes raunchy for laughs and, in this way, the film changes focus to naughtier elements that honestly feel cheap and tawdry.
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A Casting Bullseye
Gluck inserts Shakespeare’s iambic pentameter exposition as a visual preface to the upcoming scenes’ salacious shenanigans. This is done for artistic effect and as a nod to the famed source material. It also becomes the only clever part of the narrative. Eagle-eyed viewers will notice Shakespeare popping up on the set walls and inanimate objects. It’s a pleasant diversion during a sluggish second act that torpedoes pacing.
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The script falters when initially important characters disappear from the plot. Jonathan and Margaret — Bea and Ben’s exes for those keeping score — are supposed to be foils. But they literally do nothing but mill about as eye candy. Apart from their looks, why were the protagonists drawn to these people? Much Ado About Nothing has Benedick willing to fight a duel for Beatrice’s devotion and proof of his love. Gluck again misses a golden opportunity to tangle the web with legitimate intrigue.
However, Anyone But You hits the casting bullseye with Sweeney and Powell. The actors elevate the dull dialogue with subtle physical reactions that continually highlight their attraction. Longing looks, furtive glances, and gentle sighs tug the heartstrings more than the horizontal tango. The goofy scenes of them half naked, which aren’t that funny, pale in comparison to the softer demure moments.
One thing is evident during public screenings of the film: women in the audience are enraptured. They laughed at all the saucy bits and swooned during the climax. Anyone But You will definitely have a more favorable response along gender lines. That makes the film a great date movie for those who want to get the love flowing.
Anyone But You is a production of Columbia Pictures, Roth/Kirschenbaum Films, SK Global, Fifty-Fifty Films, and Olive Bridge Entertainment. It will be released theatrically on December 22nd from Sony Pictures.
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