Why do I feel invisible?

Leigh-Anne Pinnock has opened up about the racism that she has faced since finding fame with Little Mix in 2011.

The group that she formed along with Perrie Edwards, Jesy Nelson, Jade Thirlwall won The X Factor that year, the only girl group to ever win the reality competition show. They went on to have five UK number one singles, selling 75 million records worldwide and receiving over 15 billion streams.

Speaking to The Guardian, however, Pinnock has explained that despite this success, she has always struggled with the way she has been treated, compared to her bandmates.

“I always used to say, ‘Should I feel like this, having accomplished my dream?’,” she said. “Why do I feel like I might as well not be here sometimes? Why does it feel like I’m not being noticed? Why do I feel invisible? Why am I not appreciated like the others? It just didn’t feel right.”

“I internalised that I was the problem and it made me lose my confidence.”

She went on to explain that a moment of clarity came when Little Mix played a show in Brazil and a predominantly Black audience began cheering for her specifically. “I always knew there were Black women out there that I was touching, but I didn’t see them. They were not at shows or fan events.”

“Brazil was monumental in helping me understand everything I’d been feeling in terms of being undervalued and unseen. It confirmed what I was feeling. But it didn’t take the pain away, because it kept happening. I came back to the UK and I was still feeling it.”

Pinnock’s memoir Believe, which she has written in collaboration with author Natalie Morris, will be published on October 26.

The singer first publicly discussed the issue of racism when she made the BBC documentary Leigh-Anne: Race, Pop and Power. In it, Pinnock, whose parents are both mixed-race, discusses with peers including Sugababes’ Keisha Buchanan, whether being a light-skinned Black woman made her a more “palatable” option for powerful music executives.

Reflecting on that discussion, Pinnock told The Guardian, “I know I’m helping some people, and I know I’m doing a good thing, and I’m going to continue to do that. And one thing I’m 100% going to do is talk about light-skinned privilege. I truly believe it’s helped me to get to where I am today.”

Nelson left Little Mix in 2020 and the group went on indefinite hiatus in 2022. In June this year, Pinnock released her debut solo single ‘Don’t Say Love’ under the name Leigh-Anne, a garage and house-inspired track produced by Jon Bellion and Pete Nappi.

She also recently hinted that her debut solo album might be out as early as next year. “[It’s] coming together quicker than I think anyone thought, which is good. I reckon next year for sure. Because I want to tour like I want to perform, I belong on stage.”

You can view the original article HERE.